Give This Christmas Away

Well the calendar tells me that tomorrow is December 25^th.  Other than that, there are very few things indicating that Christmas is here.  My December in South Africa has been so vastly different from any December I have ever experienced that it just doesn’t seem possible that it is Christmas Eve.

I’m not getting papers filled with catalogues of toys and gifts that I am pressured to buy for family and friends.  I don’t have a television so I’m not seeing commercials for store specials or holiday movies. A few stores in town have put up meager decorations attempting to incite festive spirit but there are even fewer decoration around my site. Oh, and it was 95 degrees two days ago.

Believe me, I’ve tried everything to make it feel like the Christmas I am used to in Nebraska.  I have been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving, I’ve been watching Christmas movies that my parents sent me, I walked the crowded mall in Pietermaritzburg with Elise this week, and I’ve even been drinking hot chocolate on the evenings when a cold front moves through and the temperature gets below 70.

I kept thinking to myself that this isn’t really Christmas. I know that the true meaning of Christmas is so much more than the lights and wrapping paper but for over twenty years those signs have helped prepare me for this season.  Like Kevin McAllister in Home Alone 2 I was thinking, “How can you have Christmas without a Christmas tree?” And at first I thought it wouldn’t be hard being away from home this holiday season because everything is so different that it doesn’t even seem like Christmas.  But then I began to see and hear about people being excited to be home for Christmas and happy to be spending time with family and I felt like I was missing out on all of that.  Last weekend, for example, my family was at the family Christmas on my dad’s side while I was at a Zulu wedding.  And although that was a great and memorable experience it just made Christmas seem so far away this December.

Then today I came across a song, “Give This Christmas Away,” by Matthew West.  You should definitely go look it up on YouTube or buy it on iTunes so that you can listen to it but here are a few of the lyrics. “Give this Christmas away if there’s love in your heart.  Don’t let it stay there.  Give this Christmas away and your life will be changed by the gift you receive…For God so loved the world, He gave His only son so we could be His hands, His feet, His love.” 

Through this song I am, once again, reminded of the best gift that we receive at Christmas.  I have been so distracted by not having the distractions that I am used to that I have been looking past the birth of our Savior.  Through God’s infinite love we were given gifts of hope, joy, peace and love.  And the best thing to do with these gifts is to share them and spread the good news that was first shared over 2000 years ago to a few shepherds outside of Bethlehem.   

So I know that we are only a day away from Christmas and everyone already has everything planned with their families and friends but these gifts don’t have to end on the 26^th.  I think we should be giving Christmas away every day.  It is the little day to day things that can make a difference. Volunteer, give money and time to charity, hold the door for someone, take a friend out for coffee, shovel the neighbor’s driveway, etc.  We have been given so much and it would be a terrible waste to keep it to ourselves.  Be the love in the world!

This Christmas and holiday season has been very different for me but it has also been a great learning opportunity and chance to grow.  I definitely miss my family and spending time with them but I know that I am here for a reason and that I can share the gift of Christmas in the things that I am doing in South Africa! I pray that wherever you are in the world and whatever you are doing this weekend that you remember what this season is about and think about how you can share this great gift that we have all been given.  Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas!  Ukhisimusi Omuhle!

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’” 

–Luke 2: 8-14

Learn Your Lessons Well

I have now been away from Lincoln for almost four months, I have been in South Africa for three and a half months, and I have been living at my site for a little more than three months.  Although this does not seem like a lot of time in the grand picture, there are a lot of things that I have learned already and I wanted to share with you.

1.  Enjoy Your Grass

There is the old saying that the grass is greener on the other side, and sometimes it may look that way, but I have learned that it is all a matter of perspective.  One of the initial challenges that I struggled with was the sub-conscious expectations that I seemed to have for myself, for the work that I would be doing, and for my overall experience here.  As the first few weeks passed I had seen and heard about what many of the other volunteers were doing and what their sites were like.  I began to compare my experience with the experiences of others and felt that my time here had not been as fulfilling. However, I quickly realized that having a pity-party for myself would not be a good way to help my situation.  Although my experience is different than everyone else’s it is still worthwhile.  As Desmond Tutu said, “A life of wholeness does not depend on what we experience. Wholeness depends on how we experience our lives.”  So there may be green grass on the other side but, with a little nurturing and care, mine can be just as nice!

2. Africans Own the Time

When I was in Tanzania a wise and wonderful man once said, “Americans own the watches, Tanzanians own the time.” I believe that this statement is also true of South Africans.  For many people here, time is just a grouping of numbers with little significance.  This concept has been a true test of patience for me.  It is usually safe to show up half an hour late for most events and still be one of the first people there.  I am always nervous, however, that the one time I do go late will be the time that it starts on time and then I will look like a fool.  The lack of punctuality can be frustrating having grown up in a place where “Time is Money,” but I am trying to have a more relaxed mindset and I have become much more flexible instead of worrying about the numbers on my wrist because I have also learned that…

3. Being Present Matters

I often wonder, as I am sitting in a meeting or a four hour church service where I do not understand anything that is being said, how it would be different if I was not there.  I do not think that it would be different, per se, but I know that people would notice.  I think that a lot of us can take the ELCA Global Mission’s model of accompaniment and apply it to our own lives whether we are living in another country or not.  Simply put it is all about relationships.  During my short time here I am not going to solve the HIV/AIDS crisis or world hunger but I can be a friend and I can be there for support.  I can build relationships that cross barriers and break down walls and stereotypes that people have.  It might not seem like the most exciting way to make a difference, but sometimes just being can be enough.

4. Smile More

It seems so simple but just taking the extra time to smile at the people you walk by or taking a few minutes to talk to them and ask how they are doing or how their weekend was can make a huge difference.  It might not seem like much but it can be bigger than you know.

 5. Attitude of Gratitude

People want to feel appreciated but people are not thanked enough for the things that they do.  I am not doing what I am doing so that people will thank me but I know it is always nice to hear.  I have been making an effort to be more thankful, not only to the people that I am around but also for the overall experience that I am having.  There are times when things are frustrating but it is much better to look at the positive things and be grateful for all that I have.

6. Dig Deeper

One of the best things that I have learned to do is ask questions.  There is no better way to get information or clarification or to find out someone’s point of view. There is a very long and harsh history within this country and there are many things from the past that still affect things today including economic disparity, political tension, and racism. Many people that I am around are more than willing to talk to me and answer questions that I have which has been a huge blessing and has opened my eyes to many of the problems that people of South Africa face.  I think that in the age of internet we often think we can find the answers online much easier than taking the time to talk to someone.  At times it may be easier but you won’t always get the best answer.

7. A Person is a Person through Other Persons

The spirit of Ubuntu is a concept that I cannot get enough of.  The more that I think about all the people that have been in my life to make me the person I am today the more grateful I get.  It does make me miss a lot of people that are back in the States but, at the same time, I know that I am also being changed through the people here.  And the best part is that we are all connected as humans and we make each other more human through our relationships with each other.  As Frederick Buechner said, “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”

8. Embrace the Tension

The biggest lesson for me to learn has been being okay with struggling.  When things are going bad I can get very down on myself instead of using the situation to learn about and challenge myself.  There are going to be more days that are not easy and I am going to continue to encounter difficulties throughout this journey.  The thing that is most important, however, seeing these situations as opportunities to grow both as an individual and within this community.

December already?!

Sanibona! I realize that it has been a month since I have written a new post and I apologize for the lack of communication with all of you. The last month has been quite eventful so I will try and fill you in the best I can now. I'm sorry if I jump around and some of it seems random but try to be flexible with me! First off, I can't believe it is already December and I have been at my site for three months with less than eight more to go. The weeks seem to be flying by!


Part of the reason I have not put anything on here in a while is that my laptop has been out of commission for four weeks now. I foolishly left it plugged in during a storm one night and a power surge came through after a strike of lightning hit close by and my charger has not worked since. There is supposed to be one on the way but it has not yet arrived. Fortunately my iPod has internet capabilities so I am still able to check email and things but it is difficult to type with. But because I like you all so much I am working through it to give you this update!


The days are getting very warm here as we move from spring into summer. Most days it is at least 85 degrees and we have not had much rain in the past month so things are just hot and dry. I've never appreciated cold showers so much! 


The warm weather also makes this holiday season very interesting. Spending my whole life in Nebraska I am used to the cold and snowy holiday season but the weather is far from that right now in South Africa. Spring in the northern hemisphere is associated with Easter and the new life that is found in the risen Christ following His death on the cross. Here, however, the emergence of new growth can be paralleled with the new life that is found in the birth of our Savior. Although they are very different they also have many similarities which allows me to spiritually grow in a new way. 


My days are still spent doing work at the KwaZamokuhle Diaconic Centre but I have much more of a schedule now of what I am doing. Mondays and Wednesdays I am usually going into town with Goodness to do errands for the centre such as picking up groceries and getting the mail. Tuesdays are the day that I package the wafers that are then mailed on Wednesday. And Thursday and Friday are usually a little more open with just helping out with tasks around the centre such as painting, cooking, etc. I have started work on a website for the centre which has been slow going but good. You can check it out at www.KwaZamokuhle.yolasite.com.  It is still pretty basic but if you want to learn more about what is going on around here that is the place to start!


All of the schools are now on their summer break for a little more than a month and then they will start back up in January. I am going to try and help out at the crèche down the road a few times a week when they are open again if my schedule will allow. 


A few weeks ago all of the churches from the Ondini circuit came to Ephangweni, my home church, for a rally celebration. I am not sure how circuits are made up but there are some churches in this circuit from over an hour's drive away. Anyhow, they were all here to celebrate their partnership with a church in Germany that they have had for over 20 years. There weren't any Germans here for it but everyone was still so excited for the day and they even had special shirts made to celebrate!


Having now seen partnerships from several sides(being celebrated in Tanzania, watching the celebration in South Africa, and celebrating them in the United States) I am truly amazed by the impact that they can have. I think that in America we can lose sight of how important they are, more than just financially. As Bishop Zulu said, "The partnership was not made to be built on money but on friendship and spiritual unity." I think that this is what ELCA Global Mission's statement of accompaniment is getting at also. Both sides have gifts to share and areas to grow and it is by this partnership together that everyone benefits.


Over the last full week of November we had our first retreat with all of the volunteers here in South Africa. The retreats happen every three-four months and just allow for a little renewal and growth as a group. There will also be one at the beginning of March. 


For the four guys who are here we started a little early. On Monday I travelled the two hour kombi ride to Durban to meet up with Isaac, Steve and Taylor. We went to the beach that afternoon and although it wasn't the warmest day I couldn't not swim in the Indian Ocean! Isaac's site is in Durban so we were able to stay at his place before heading to Pietermaritzburg on Tuesday.


When we got to PMB our country coordinator, Brian, picked us up and we headed towards Howick to do the Karkloof Canopy Tour. It is a series of ziplines that have been built into a forested area complete with a stream and waterfall and spectacular views! Then we went out to dinner and I finally got some Mexican food which I have been craving! It was only nachos but with fresh guacamole it definitely hit the spot!


All of the girls arrived on Wednesday so the 12 were reunited once again! Although it was raining on Thursday we played some soccer before having a big Thanksgiving meal. Everyone made a dish that they love from home and although a lot of things had to be substituted everything turned out great! Brian's wife, Kristen, made the turkey and mashed potatoes and homemade stuffing that was all delicious!  


Thanksgiving is a day that we use to be thankful for all that we have and most Americans celebrate the day with their families. Even though nine months ago I didn't even know the people I spent this Thanksgiving with, we are all now a part of a MUD family. We might be a little random and weird and we get on each other's nerves sometimes but I know that I can count on them to be there for me if I need them. When I get back to the States no one will understand what I have been through nor the transition time except these 11 other people. I am so grateful for them!


On Friday we traveled to a hostel outside of Royal Natal National Park, dropped off our bags and headed to the park. We spent the next four hours hiking through the mountains to a large rock lookout with a spectacular view. It was truly a breathtaking sight. It was a great chance for all of us to be together in the majesty of God's creation. Following the hike we stopped at one of Brian's favorite restaurants, Tower of Pizza. I had a pizza called Camel's Hump which had bacon and bananas as toppings. I love bacon and I love bananas but I can now say that I don't love bacon and bananas together. 


On Saturday we took a guided trip to the nearby country of Lesotho. For those that don't know, it is the only country surrounded by a country. In other words, Lesotho is entirely surrounded by South Africa. It is also the third poorest country in Africa with very minimal infrastructure and opportunity. South Africa has offered to make it a state but the government of Lesotho refuses. Anyways, the trip consisted of some hiking that was often climbing up the faces of rocks, looking at old cave drawings and a little culture lesson. It was an eye opening experience to continue to see how diverse southern Africa is. In five days I had seen the beach and bustling city of Durban, the Drakensberg mountains, and now the rural and impoverished country of Lesotho. 


On Sunday we had the amazing opportunity to go to a rally in Durban to kick start the beginning of the COP17 climate negotiations. The rally was put on by a group called We Have Faith and featured speaking by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and others as well as several performers including Ladysmith Black Mambazo. We were able to get down onto the field and were less than 50 feet away from 'the Arch' as they called him. He even saw some of the group taking a picture of him and waved to us. He is a truly incredible man and it was very humbling to be in the presence of someone who had such an impact on South Africa and who continues to inspire people around the world. Truly a moment I will never forget!


All in all, the retreat was a great opportunity to reconnect with my MUD family and be able to speak English for a few days and share each other's joys and burdens of the past few months. 


On my journey back on Monday I had to wait an hour and a half for the kombi in Pietermaritzburg to fill before we left for Estcourt. When I finally made it back to the centre I dropped off my things at my flat then walked up to the office to say hi to my host, Constance. She instantly gave me a hug and said, "We missed you. Welcome home!" 


"Live life to express, not to impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt."--Anonymous

Keep Walking, Stop Working

These words are from the blog of fellow YAGM Cindy McPeake who is currently serving in Malaysia. Her words are awesome and they sum up a lot my own feelings during these first few months in South Africa. Enjoy!

The first time I heard of the word accompaniment as a concept was at the DIP (discernment, interview and placement) retreat, one part of the YAGM interview process. Accompaniment is part of the ELCA’s Global Mission department’s model for ministry.

Their website defines accompaniment as, Walking together in solidarity, practicing interdependence and mutuality. Gifts, resources, and experiences are shared with mutual advice and admonition to deepen and expand all efforts within God’s mission. Pretty self-explanatory right? Right. You can read more about the Global Mission department here: ELCA Global Mission

On the surface, accompaniment is a fairly straightforward concept. We walk alongside people to understand their story, which in turn leads towards interdependence and mutuality. Through that cooperation and shared experience we are able to expand all efforts within God’s mission. We are able to increase our efforts in creating the world God intended this place to be.

Working together= bigger results.

At the retreat and through more discussion on my own and at our orientation, I thought I pretty much mastered this concept. I was going to Malaysia to walk alongside them. But in my head the word walk switched to work.

I was going to Malaysia to work alongside them.

Something happens when we change that word from walk to work. We put expectations on how much we get done, how much work we get done; and then we start to measure our efforts. We create objectives, measured goals, and perceived outcomes. We measure how much good we are doing in terms of how much work we are doing, not how much walking we are doing.

And when we begin to measure how much work we are doing, we begin to see ways that we are failing. We don’t meet those outcomes and goals so we have failed. We are bogged down by what we AREN’T doing, how much we AREN’T accomplishing. We are trapped by those results.

This was my idea of serving as I prepared and even as I got to my placement site in Malaysia. A unique part of many placements in the YAGM program is that you get to look for ways to serve the community you live in. I was placed at a kindergarten here, but because I have extra time, I get to look for ways to be a part of this community. I am still searching for that other component and grappling with the idea of accompaniment as a basis seeking out the need.

In my journey to understand how I serve here and while discussing my role in this community with a friend, I began to understand accompaniment a little better. Below is an email I shared with a Global Mission staff person, which includes the conversation I had with my friend.

So I had an epiphany today. A friend and I talked a little about accompaniment and what that actually means- thought I knew, but as our conversation continued some concepts starting emerging…it was totally an “ah-ha” moment for me. The conversation went like this:

Anna: Do you have to lead anything or is it just about building relationships?

Cindy: I think it’s mainly about building relationships. At first that felt silly to me, like I was wasting time. But they don’t need me to come in and start leading stuff; they are doing pretty well without me.  And lately, I feel like it’s more productive to build relationships instead.

Anna: It truly is. You’ve got nothing if you don’t have relationships to start with. I suppose it goes with the ELCA vision of accompaniment.

Cindy: When I started, it was walking alongside them WHILE working or actually doing a job…and now I feel like its just walking alongside them…that’s the point, that’s good enough. Its actually kind of freeing…rather than worrying I am “serving the right way”, I just get to be.

I think I realized today that my perception of serving is to work (and I do. I teach English), but its not the only way I am serving. I serve by just being- by building relationships. My American mindset says that’s not work, that’s not service because I am not “doing anything”, I am not punching a time card, there is no tangible result of my work. I think today I actually UNDERSTOOD what accompaniment is. It’s being.

Just be. Accompaniment is being. It’s also doing and working and learning…but it’s the being part that makes all of that possible. And it can’t be measured.

So it does no good to measure ourselves against what we do. We are enough. Accompaniment frees us to love, to break free from results, to stop worrying if we are doing enough. We have the freedom to be.

Jesus loves us that way too. He doesn’t look at what we do to determine how much He loves us. He doesn’t have a tally sheet to mark down all the good things we do, all the ways we serve, or all the ways we fulfill our calling. Our calling is child.

There’s this blog called Stuff Christians Like, and recently there was a post that said, What does He call us? What phrase or words does he give us instead of “Real Christian?” Son. Daughter. And it turns out, those two words are enough.

Child. Son. Daughter. Those words are enough. We are enough. Walking is enough. Being is enough.

Enough.Sufficient.Plenty.Abundant.

You are enough.

Counting My Blessings

Is it already November?  It definitely feels like time is flying by here.  As I approach the end of my second month of service I thought I would take some time during this month of thanksgiving and make a list of things that I am and have been thankful for.  I decided that I would do one thing for every day until Thanksgiving so that makes 24 things, in no particular order.

Springtime

The flowers are blooming, the trees are budding and there is a renewed sense of freshness in the air as the days get warmer and the foliage starts to have added colors.

Cold Fronts

However, now that it has started to get hotter and there are more consecutive afternoons where the temperature is over 90 I do appreciate when a cold front moves in for a few days and brings along some clouds and maybe even some rain

Rain and Storms

The storms here have no sense of time with hail and lightning sometimes happening at 6am. The lightning storms are fun to sit on my porch and watch and I have always enjoyed the smell of a fresh spring rain.

Sunglasses

These are a must have here with how bright the sun is and how much it is out.  I'm glad I brought a couple of pairs since I've already lost one!

Rice

Ever since I went to Tanzania I have had a deep love for the rice.  The weird thing is that, although I cook for myself, I have not made it once since I’ve been here.  I always look forward to being invited to a meal though because there is bound to be rice with whatever is being served!

Braais

I also love the South African barbecues where they load up the grill with all types of meat and invite lots of friends over.  Delicious!

Coca cola

I was a huge Mountain Dew drinker back in the States but since the Pepsi products are terrible here I've really enjoyed being able to drink coke and coke zero!

Peanut Butter

A staple in my diet and my main source of protein.  I'm glad I like it! I eat it in a sandwich, with apples, bananas, choc chip cookies, by itself, pretty much with anything.

11:00 Tea Time

Although I don’t really like the tea that is served I do like getting a mid-morning snack every day.  If I am in the office it is usually some sort of sandwich but if I am making my own it is usually chocolate milk and cookies!

KwaZamokuhle Chapel

The chapel that I get to worship in every day is awesome! How many people get to sing praise songs in a traditional zulu hut? It's a really cool experience!

Ephangweni

I'm also very thankful for the church here.  Everyone has been so welcoming and the services aren't usually more than two hours which is nice since I don’t understand most of what is being said.  I do take my own Bible, however, so I can read the scripture for the week and know what is being talked about.

Reverend Xaba

The pastor of Ephangweni has been a huge advocate for me and has really helped me see more and more of the area where I am living which has been a huge blessing. We have also had a lot of great talks about politics, religion, economy, etc. in both the us and SA which has given me a very interesting perspective into the lives of the people.

Mchunu

The pastoral intern who has been staying at the centre has definitely been a great friend to have as I have gotten adjusted to life around here.  It will be harder now that he is gone because he was my informant on activities that were going on and my translator at most of those activities.

Electricity

It's so nice when the lights are working at my flat especially since it gets dark so early in the evening!

Electric Kettle

An amazing invention! It helps make my water not smell like eggs and gives me warm water for my baths (which is a word I use very loosely)

Goodness

I spend a lot of time with Goodness and it is always nice to talk to her. She is a very straight-forward woman but also a calming presence.

Trips to Town

Every Wednesday is an adventure into Estcourt with Goodness. We always have packages to post, money to deposit, and bread to buy but it's also when I buy my groceries and we do any other running that has to be done.  It’s a nice change of pace from the day to day work at the centre.

Ruth at the Post Office

I have gotten to talk to Ruth several times and she is always so friendly to me.  She is the one that takes care of packages that are sent to the post office so she sees the things I get from home and always asks how I’m doing and how my homesickness is.  She is just a very kind lady who makes the day a little brighter!

Letters from home

It’s always nice to get things from home or from friends and family in the States.  I have really begun to appreciate hand-written letters or cards.  Just thinking about the extra effort the person put forth makes them that much more special.  Not many people take the time to sit down, write the letter, put it in an envelope, and walk to the mailbox to send the letter so it’s nice to get them.  

Ostriches

On the trips into town there are usually ostriches in the fields on the side of the road and it just makes everything seem a little more wild and adventurous.

Books

With the sun setting by 6:30 and no television to watch my evenings are usually spent reading.

(Christmas) Music

I know it’s only the start of November but I will admit that I have started listening to Christmas music because it’s my favorite season and I think the music is always great to listen to anytime of the year. I’m not too big of a fan of holiday music though (songs about snow falling and sleigh rides). I also really enjoy the music in worship that is always a cappella and always sounds awesome!  The song books only have words in them but someone always seem to know the tune and if they don’t they make it up and everyone else joins in.  It’s a really cool thing to be a part of.

Loubsers

Although I haven’t hung out with this family but a couple of times they have been very supportive of me and very hospitable which is comforting.  It is nice to know that I have a reliable contact in town, also, in case anything were to happen.

Smiles

They say that these are contagious and I definitely agree.  It’s always nice to see them around the centre and around the community as people are giving a friendly greeting or even laughing at my attempts at Zulu.

You!

Ok I know this is 25 things now but I just wanted to let you know that I am thankful for you for reading this and praying for me and supporting me throughout this journey! And this quote that I found while reading this week expresses why you are so important:

‎"You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." 

- Frederick Buechner

Learning to Let Go

As I continue through my second month of service I have to admit that I have struggled with my purpose in South Africa.  Questions like “What am I doing here?”, “Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing?”, and “Am I even helping anyone?” have come into my mind on numerous occasions.  As most of my days have been spent at the KwaZamokuhle Diaconic Centre I have, at times, gotten frustrated and worn down by seemingly menial tasks such as peeling more than 1000 carrots with a knife or sitting alone in an office for six hours answering a phone that rings a maximum of 10 times a day.

I had been having a difficult week this week and was talking to a friend and said to him, “Nothing is going my way!” And suddenly I felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks.  Questions like “What are you thinking?” and “How self-centered can you get?” came into my mind.  Who was I to be thinking that I really had any part in this? It has always been God’s plan and will continue to be His plan.  A few days ago I had even highlighted a part in a book that talks about this very issue.  At the time I thought it was just a good quote but never really thought a lot about what the man in the book was saying.  From the book Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller:  “‘Maybe we’re all on a pilgrimage,’ he says. ‘Maybe we’re all going somewhere. Or really, maybe we are all being taken somewhere… [And] it is whatever God wants it to be.  Maybe we are just supposed to trust that He won’t beat us up when we get there.  Maybe we are just supposed to trust that He is good.’” 

Although some of the things that I have done at the centre aren’t exactly what I would like to be doing, it’s not always about me.  Part of being a servant leader is doing a mixture of both things that need to be done and things that you enjoy doing.  My country coordinator, Brian Konkol, talked to me about this when I was telling him about some of the issues I was facing and he reminded me that Jesus didn’t always get to serve how he wanted to either.  Although Jesus did preach and heal, which he was good at and enjoyed doing, he also had to suffer on the cross in the ultimate act of service. 

As I continue on this journey of accompaniment within this community I am learning to let go of the expectations and preconceptions that I have had for myself for this year of service.  Although there are bound to be tasks that seem mundane they can also be an opportunity for the extraordinary to happen.  As Paul says in his letter to the Romans, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  While there may be times that I do not understand my role, I know that God works for the good and not always for our pleasure.  He has a plan and I am learning to trust it more every day.  As the saying goes, Let go and let God!

Shoulder to Shoulder

It is crazy for me to think that almost a month ago I was riding my first kombe to get to my site.  I am starting to adjust to things much better than the first week and people are warming up to me a lot more which is awesome!

I am sorry that I have not updated more often but I have had problems with the internet here and the store in town has not been very helpful in getting me what I needed.  So I took matters into my own hands and took a kombe to Pietermaritzburg today to get what I needed and now that I have somewhat better internet access I will hopefully be able to give you all more updates.  I also got to spend some time with the Konkols (my country coordinators) which was great!

I am still spending my weekdays working at the KwaZamokuhle Centre and doing whatever needs to be done.  The receptionist has been on holiday for the past month so I have learned to do most of the book work and handling orders for wafers that come in.  I also package the order and help take them into town on Wednesdays.   I am hoping to teach them how to use Excel on the computer so that their system of ordering and tracking payments can be more efficient.  

Two weeks ago, however, there was a group staying at the conference center so I spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen which included helping with cooking and doing a lot of dishes.  It reminded me of the good ol’ days helping with meals at church!  The best part was that I took the time to have Goodness start teaching me Zulu so I have been able to learn some of the language.  She was teaching me more of just words or phrases so I am still trying to figure out subject-verb agreements and sentence structure but I am sure that will come together in time.

I have really gotten to enjoy going to church even if I can’t understand anything that is being said.  I bought one of the hymn books that everyone uses so I can sing along.  It only lists the song number and the words but there is no music.  But there are always people who just know the tune of the song and start singing it and they sound so good!  And if they don’t know it they act like they do and make up their own melody.  They also do everything straight from the Liturgy in the book so it is pretty easy to follow along and somewhat understand what is going on.

Two Sundays ago was extra special because the reverend of the parish, Reverend Xaba, was being installed.  It was a very big celebration and the church was full of people from all the churches in the area.  I had been warned that it could be a long day so I made sure to eat a big breakfast.  The service was very, very traditional with full robes and acolytes and incense and the whole nine yards.  The actual church service wasn’t too long though and only lasted a little more than three hours.  Then they had a special celebration where different groups from within the parish (women’s league, youth league, etc.) would bring welcome gifts and present them to the pastor and his family. 

It started with people bringing in two queen sized mattresses and box springs and laying them at the front of the church and then women made the beds with new sheets and blankets and then had the family lay in them.  It was one of the most interesting things I have seen in a church service for sure!  Then for the next two hours different groups would enter the church singing a song and present a gift or gifts to the pastor and his family.  There were a lot of presents too: electric kettles, microwave, new shirt and tie, briefcases, flour, laundry detergent, a DVD home theatre system, printer, blankets, a sheep.  And all of these gifts were just placed right in front of the family in the front of the church.   Although a very new thing for me, it was a very cool thing to see this celebration because everyone was so excited for it and there was a lot of joy filling the place!

This past week was a lot of them same with me doing projects around the Centre.  They still had files and documents that were dated in the 90s and earlier so I was very willing to help get rid of those to make things more organized.  (It also meant that I got to build a big fire which is always fun!)  I also witnessed my first chicken slaughter.  I was actually very impressed with how efficient the entire process was and one worker had 20 chickens cleaned and in the freezer in only a couple of hours.  I have talked to Reverend Xaba and Ms. Constance about visiting the schools next week once the receptionist has returned so I am hoping that I am able to find things there that I can help with.  I will keep you all updated!  I also received a package from my parents on Monday which made for a great way to start the week!  The Husker flag looks great in my flat and the Sour Patch Kids tastes amazing! =)

As my first month of service here is wrapping up I have a lot of anticipation and excitement to see what the coming months.  My prayer is that God will continue to show me the areas where my gifts can be used in this community and in the lives of these people.  I am I so humbled and blessed by the kind words that people have sent me and the prayers that are being said for me.  So thank you to everyone who is watching out for me!

“This isn’t so others can take it easy while you sweat it out.  No, you’re shoulder to shoulder with them all the way, your surplus matching their deficit, their surplus matching your deficit.  The goal is equality.  As it is written: Nothing left over to the one with the most, nothing lacking to the one with the least.”     

2 Corinthians 8:13-15

A Life of Ubuntu

Well I’ve made it through my first week at my site and it has been an adventure.  It all started with my kombe ride from Pietermaritzburg to the town near my site, Estcourt.  It just so happened that Monday was pension day so the town was filled with people.  The taxi rank area in Estcourt is an entire square block parking lot that is surrounded by small market shops and then store buildings.  As we pulled up I began to get nervous thinking about how I was going to find my host, Ms. Constance, in the middle of the seemingly chaotic market area with two huge bags but I didn’t have much choice. (Mom if you are reading this you might want to skip the next two paragraphs)

Of course the van parked right in the center, too.  I grabbed my bags and walked as quickly as I could towards the buildings hoping that if I put my duffel bag down to call Ms. Constance that I would be able to block it from being taken.  I got ahold of her but she said someone else from the center was picking me up and in a location a couple of blocks away.  I was thinking to myself, “How am I going to carry these bags around these people to a place that I don’t even know for sure where.”  Just then a woman came out of a grocery store and told me that I needed to get inside quickly because she overheard some men saying that they were going to try and take my bags.  (On a side note, I don’t want anyone to read this and think that South African people are bad because the truth is that muggings happen everywhere.  I was definitely a prime target for it and luckily there were some people watching out for me!)

Needless to say I quickly grabbed my stuff and went inside, recalled Ms. Constance, and had my ride pick me up at the grocery store.  Although my heart was beating out of my chest I was so thankful for the help and had a nice talk with the manager of the store who was very accommodating and friendly.  My ride, Goodness, brought the truck near the store so that I could put my bags in.  We then continued to run a few errands.  Like I said previously, it was a busy day in town so there were lines everywhere we went.  Unfortunately for me the back hatch of the pickup does not lock so this meant that I had to stay in the truck while Goodness ran her errands.  It wouldn’t have been too bad but the passenger side window was broken too so it got quite hot in there.  Finally after nearly two hours of errands it was time to make the short 10 minute ride from town to the center.

The KwaZamokuhle Diaconic Centre is a part of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in South Africa and has many community projects that it assists with.  Some of these include making communion wafers that are shipped around the globe, arts and crafts that are made in the more rural areas and then sold, a sewing center and a computer center to teach people new skills, and several large gardens. 

The day starts at 8 with prayers in the chapel and ends around 4.  It is dark by 6:30 so it has been a challenge keeping myself entertained at night.  I often fall asleep before 9pm but then wake up before 6am. I spent a lot of this past week packaging boxes of communion wafers in the morning and then taking them into town in the afternoon.  Who knew my gift packaging training at Bed Bath and Beyond would come in handy here?! I also typed a few letters for Ms. Constance, the manager of the center, on a computer that ran Windows 98. Talk about old school!  Most of my time is spent following around Goodness and going with her into town to run errands.  Although the town is close it always takes several hours when we are there but it is nice to just listen to the things that Goodness has to say.

There isn’t much going on at the center on the weekends and not very many workers live on site so I am mostly on my own.  On Saturday I took a kombe into town just to explore and buy a few things.  (I am still working on getting reliable internet but the one store that seems to carry what I need is out right now but hopefully they will have them soon.)  The town was pretty busy but it was nice to just walk around and see the different shops and stores. 

Then on Sunday everyone goes to church.  The closest church to me is only a 15 minute walk away which isn’t bad at all.  It is supposed to start at 9 but it didn’t actually start until 9:20.  When I arrived at 8:50 there were only three people in the church, including myself.  Church services tend to be much longer (2-3 hours or more) here, especially if it is Communion Sunday.  The sermon usually takes half an hour and offering can take upwards of 30 minutes but there is a lot of singing and dancing during it which makes it exciting.

There has been a lot of adjusting to get used to and all the quiet time at night gives me a lot of time to think (and a lot of time to be homesick).  I am sure it will get better as time goes on and I meet more people in the community.  I know that the site I am at is not an easy place to be but I know that I have a lot of people supporting me and I am comforted by that.  In Africa there is a word that is used to express a sense of community and solidarity.  The word, Ubuntu, is often translated as “I am because we are.” In essence, I am who I am because of all the people in my life.  So to everyone reading this who has been there to support me and love me and cheer me on, words cannot express how grateful I am for you!

 I hope you all are doing well and I love you! 

“And I will live to carry Your compassion, to love a world that’s broken, to be Your hands and feet.  And I will live with the live that I’ve been given and go beyond religion to see the world be changed.  By the power of Your name.” –Lincoln Brewster, “Power of Your Name”

Remain True to the Mystery

If I was in the United States right now I would have the day off for Labor Day.  However, my day tomorrow will be anything but relaxing.  After months of preparation and hours of orientation I stand on the edge of a new adventure.  Tomorrow morning I will be heading to my placement site at Kwazamokuhle Center near Estcourt in the KwaZulu-Natal province.  I wish I knew what was in store for me but I definitely have more questions than answers right now.  I do know how I am getting there, however, which might be the most important part for now. 

My host is not able to come to Pietermaritzburg and pick me up so I will be travelling to Estcourt by kombi.  For those who don’t know, kombis are a staple of public transportation throughout much of the African continent.  They are basically taxi vans that pick you up on the side of the road and go from one place to another.  However, they don’t leave until they are full so you can sometimes be left waiting for quite a while.  Luckily for me I think I will be taking a bus that goes straight to Estcourt and I won’t have to change rides at some point.  Brian, my country coordinator, will be going to the stop with me to see me off which is a relief since I haven’t learned the proper hand signals yet to make sure I go the right way.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous for what is ahead.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m very excited but there is just so much unknown right now that I definitely have some fears.  Following a week of orientation I don’t know if I have any more answers but maybe more questions. It has been a great opportunity for us to bond as a group but it is also going to make it much harder to say goodbye to everyone as we head to our separate placement sites. We have had a mixture of both fun activities and educational activities that have helped us become acquainted with some of the things South Africa will offer.  As Pastor Brian says we are “disorienting” ourselves before this experience starts. 

This picture is at Bisley Nature Preserve near PMB.

This picture is from a hike we took on the outside of town. Some really great views!

I am ready and willing for what comes ahead and I hope that you will follow my journey and share in my struggles and triumphs, my sadness and joy.  There are sure to be a lot of exciting things happening so I will try to update when I can.  For now I leave you with a passage from the book “Through Painted Deserts” by Donald Miller.  I came across it again this week and it has helped to me to realize that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:
Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

This past week I have been in Chicago staying in a dorm at the University of Chicago campus while doing training at the Lutheran School of Theology just a few blocks away.  It’s been a really great experience and saying goodbye to 38 other YAGMs who are starting their journey also has been tough but I know that they are going to do great things this year in their places of service!  This week has really made me think about a lot of things that could happen this year and I just wanted to share some of my thoughts/feelings with you before I leave tomorrow.

We had some free time this week and did some fun things like eat at an African restaurant where I had oxtail. 

And we went to a Cubs game!

On the first day of training sessions, Heidi (the amazing woman who runs the YAGM show), read a poem called “Passover Remembered” and there was one part that really stuck out to me.

Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings that even your closest friends will have to learn your features as though for the first time. Some of you will not change at all. Some will be abandoned by your dearest loves and misunderstood by those who have known you since birth who feel abandoned by you.

This scares me so much.  I often find myself worrying about the future and what it will be like when I come back.  I have had feelings of guilt at times thinking about leaving some things behind.  I am afraid that some might think that I will no longer be with them to help when they need a hand.   I know my family has been so supportive of me throughout this whole process but there is a part of me that feels like I am leaving them even though things aren’t perfect.  I feel like I am leaving some of my friends out there too who I hang out with all the time. Do they feel like I’m abandoning them? How much am I going to miss out on? What will my friendships be like when I return?  These questions run through my mind like wildfire and, although I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing, the possible answers still scare me.

Another thing that really made me think this week was the idea of starting over in my new country.  As Americans we identify ourselves with things like our jobs, degrees, or education.  That is who we are and is often very important to us (as it should be).  However, in South Africa the things that I thought helped define me won’t matter.  People won’t know or care about University of Nebraska or the fact that they gave me a piece of paper saying I got a degree.  It is a daunting idea that I am so new and unknown but it is also an exciting opportunity to start fresh and be as authentic as possible.

Well, I leave tomorrow for South Africa by way of Frankfurt, Germany and it still seems kind of surreal.  Is this day really here?  Although it will be hard to be away for so long I am ready for the challenge and await the journey ahead with great anticipation. I think that I am truly ready for it and I know that this is where I'm supposed to be this year. It won't be easy but it will be worth it.


Because we will be travelling for 36 hours and then have a week of orientation in-country before I get to my site I don’t know when I will be able to update again but I will when I can!  I love you all and thank you so much for your support!

The End of Summer

So it's been a few months since I've posted and I was thinking it was time so here it is.  
This summer has gone by so fast and I don't know how I feel about that.  Below are some things that have happened in the past two months to catch you up:

• Got 2nd place in a 4x4 sand volleyball tournament where we had to win through the loser's bracket against really tough teams!
• Won a 6x6 sand volleyball tournament that wasn't that competitive but we won some good money.
• I moved to a new place for at the beginning of July that I will soon be moving out of...
• Won a gold medal playing indoor volleyball for the Cornhusker State Games!

• Spent a weekend in Kansas City at Worlds of Fun with some good friends!

• I finally decided to start "playing" ultimate Frisbee for real this summer.  Most of the people I know have played for years and I've resisted playing for the last three years but it actually wasn't too bad and we won the league which was awesome!

• I gave a presentation for my year of service at church one weekend in June and I was so humbled by how generous people were in their donations and support of me. God is so good!

The next week and a half are jam-packed with stuff.  Tomorrow my parents are having an open house so people can wish me luck before I go. I think it will be a weird feeling saying goodbye so we'll see how it goes.  It will be nice to see a lot of people though!

Then some friends and I are going to Chicago for a few days and coming back on Thursday.  Then I am in a friend's wedding on Friday and the rehearsal is Thursday night. I leave for a week of training in Chicago the next Wednesday and then Africa after that! I have a feeling it's going to come really fast.

I'm going to end with a song by FFH called Follow Love that I seems to fit perfectly for my year of service:

You can listen to the song here and see the lyrics below.

I'm gonna miss this simple town full of memories
I'm gonna miss just hanging out with all my friends
The rainy days and summer nights
Skipping stones by the river side
But i know.. its time to go


So here's goodbye here's so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what I've been dreaming of
I'll miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love


I've got a heart that's full of dreams and a little bit of crazy
I can feel it pulling me to somewhere I have never been
I'm packing up and leaving home
To travel into the great unknown
It's time, I have to go


So here's goodbye here's so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what I've been dreaming of
I'll miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love


We're not guaranteed tomorrow
So we must just keep on living for today
and make the most of every moment
every step along the way


So here's goodbye here's so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what I've been dreaming of
I'll miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love